If you’re having trouble asserting yourself in life or currently facing an intimidating challenge, you might want to meet your inner warrior—it is one of your greatest allies. Let me tell you about my inner warrior. She protects me when she thinks I need it. I am on a journey to learn what triggers her and in which situations she comes out. At times she is amazing and other times she gets me into a bit of a pickle.
When my warrior gets triggered
Do you sometimes feel like you have to justify your reasoning or defend yourself around choices you have made or actions you took? This is when my defence warrior comes out! She is super passionate about her role in keeping me safe and vicious; plus quite effective in her task. This however doesn’t always lead to the most effective outcome for the relationship with others. As listening is not one of her strong qualities. This means that when my warrior is out to play I forget to listen. Meeting my inner warrior gave me a lot of clarity. About why I react the way I do, in certain situations.
Every situation is different and some do require her to come out however not always. I want to be aware when she does and stay curious about what the other person has to contribute to the conversation.
On my journey to getting to know my inner defence warrior I started with a quest to discover my emotions and bodily tells. I took notes of the situations I was in when she came out in order to find out what triggered her to take over the situation. I discovered that my body was giving me early warning signals I just need to be observant to what is happening.
On your journey to meet and discover more about your own inner warrior here are some examples of bodily signs when you get triggered:
- You lean into the conversation and start speaking louder or you detract from the conversation into your own bubble
- Your voice starts to tremble
- Maybe you become more emotional or forceful
- You become more expressive with your body language and hands
- When your eyes begin to sparkle
Observe what happens for you during the next two weeks just before you get irritated, angry, mad or sad this will help you learn to recognise the signs.
Another element to look at is ‘what is it that your warrior is trying to protect you from’. It could be that there is a trend to see here. My defence warrior takes over when I am in a confrontational situation. I also learned she holds a grudge. She’s like the “women and elephants never forget” once you are on her bad side it’s hard for her to give you a free pass. She is on her guard and comes out even quicker.
Next time she comes out have a look at the story you have created in your mind: Is it ‘true’? I call it the ‘ matrix reality check’. Be aware your own version of reality can be very persistant same as for the other person. It often helps if you can get some distance or a ‘true’ third party perspective. Try to look at the situation from the other persons perspective – the saying ‘walk a mile is someone else shoes’. How does it look from their point of view? It might help you see a whole different side of the situation/story.
Defensiveness stops you from being able to listen quietly and really hear what the other person is saying. Having effective communication is what makes love- & working relationships , friendships etc… flourish. It all starts with raising your awareness around what triggers your inner defence warrior to start defending you. That’s why it’s so important to meet her and establish a relationship that works for you.
The nest step is figuring out how you can calm your warrior down and let her know you are safe & ok and you can handle the situation. Thank her for trying to protect you and lovingly let her know you won’t be needing her services in this particular situation. Tell her you want to resolve this in a more constructive way in order to start having more flourishing relationships in your life.
Enjoy meeting your inner warrior she is an awesome companion to have once you establish a good working relationship with her. Here are some more things that can help you build a solid relationship with your inner warrior.
Create an image of your inner warrior
What comes to mind when you think of your inner warrior? For me it’s a Native American female warrior(see image). It could also be an ancient goddess of the sea. Or it might be the image of a knight in shining armour, figure from history like e.g. Joan of Arc . If a character from a movie or book calls to the warrior in you, cut out a picture of that character and put it up on your bathroom mirror, vision board or desk for inspiration.
Describe your inner warrior
Perhaps words like fearless and invincible come to mind. Yet maybe the best words to describe warrior energy are resilient, courageous and pro-active. Resilient is a perfect description for a patient summoning warrior energy to make it through their healing journey. Courageous describes a parent summoning warrior energy to remove their children from an abusive environment. Pro-active might describe a manager initiating a tough conversation with a colleague before the situation gets out of hand. Challenge yourself to find five words that describe what warrior energy means to you.
How to work together effectively :
- Awareness is the first step
- Catch yourself in the act by listening to your body signs and recognising them
- Talk to your inner warrior and let them know you are ok and don’t need them now
- Be curious – what is it that this situation has in store for me to learn
- Trust that the universe never gives you more than you can handle!
Ask yourself: What would my inner warrior do?
Before facing any challenging or stressful situation that will require inner strength and resolve, take a moment and ask yourself, “What would my inner warrior do?” How would your inner warrior, as defined by the exercises above, tackling a tight deadline at work or facing a financial challenge or getting your dog to listen to you? Stop, quiet your mind for a minute and connect with your intuition for specific guidance on what your inner warrior would do.
In summary your inner warrior she is an awesome companion to have once you establish a good working relationship with her and you are the once in charge! She is there to support you not take over the show.